Good morning my dear Minette
One morning over a cup of tea, I sat wondering, why do I feel the way I feel, so kind of empty? What happened to the lady who had so many dreams? Where is the exciting adventurous woman? How can I get the respect I deserve?
It is so frustrating if you get brushed aside and no one takes notice or listens to you, it is as if you are invisible. How do I get my identity back?
Sitting there reminiscing, I came to the conclusion I have to change my mindset and attitude.
I have to find new skills to get back to the woman I was. Making my life interesting again, streamlining it and most of all, how to deserve respect as a Homemaker?
One way to get recognition is to transform the way I think about myself. I did some introspection on do I love myself for who I am. Am I proud of who I am and am I capable of doing what I want?
Learning new skills and changing some habits can make a huge difference. The moment I change my thoughts and behaviour, everything changes.
As a partner, a housewife and a mother, we tend to get so involved in everyday routine. We lose track of who we are and become monotonous and tedious, meaning a lack of variety and boredom.
Remember, you teach people how to treat you. Never be a doormat. Be assertive and firm with compassion and love.
People remember how you make them feel when together, therefore they will treat you accordingly.
Unfortunately, you get judged by your behaviour. Respect is earned with confidence, integrity and compassion. Stay kind and considerate. Carry yourself with pride and walk tall. You are the Queen of the house!
Confidence comes with knowledge, practice and experience. People will acknowledge you and give you the respect you deserve.
How Can I Help You
How Can I Deserve Respect
1. Respect Yourself and Others
Appreciate people for who they are and not what you think.
Ask yourself, who is your idol, who do I respect and the reasons why.
Be never afraid to show your ethics and values. For instance, how you dress, the friends you keep, the way you behave, the places you go to, the conversations you hold, and the jokes you tell are the mirror of respect for yourself and others.
It is wise to remember you become like the five people close to you. Be aware of this fact and choose your inner circle wisely.
People see who you are by observing your lifestyle. By the way, what you post on social media also contributes to the perception.
The things people will admire are honesty, reliability, hardworking, loyalty, responsibility, trustworthiness and confidentiality. Can you keep a secret? Do you dress and carry yourself with dignity and style?
Respect others as you want to be respected.
Everybody can gain confidence, it is built step by step.
Ask the question “WHY don’t I have confidence? Repeatedly ask the question after every answer you come up with until you get to the bottom line.
Practise self-love. Put you and yowell-beinging first.
Set your goals and achieve them in small steps, little by little.
Create smaller goals that are easy to achieve. Every goal achieved creates confidence.
Write every little success down. Keep a log of all your achievements, it motivates you to see what you have already done.
I once read it is called an “ I Did it “ list. How cool is that? Not only will you have a ” To Do ” list, but this is an ” I Did It ” list. It is just as important. Read it often and get inspired by all your achievements.
Never listen to the little voice inside. It very seldom gives you positive good news of approval, mostly it brings you down, lowers your self-esteem and makes you feel guilty.
3. Good Self-esteemKnowingw what you know and believe in yourself creates good self-esteem.
Stand up for yourself and defend your beliefs and values.
Values are your living standards. How you dress, eat and socialise. People with the same interests and culture, group because they have the same ideology of standards and act in the same way.
Then you get the individual who lives by his standards.
My son Marius is one such person. He has very strong beliefs and values, as an example, he is known as the “Barefoot Wonderer“, because he walks mostly barefoot.
His belief is, that he has to have contact with the earth and its vibes, he gets his energy and calm from there, no matter what.
He will get off the plane and walk barefoot into the airport with his shoes tied and hanging from his shoulder. As a wildlife safari guy, he lives by his own rules very close to nature.
4. Set clear boundaries.
Know what is acceptable and what is a no go for you. It gives you a clear direction on the way you want to go.
Never listen to your inner nagging voice, telling you negative and downgrading affirmations. Our culture has taught us to always be humble to such an extent, that it has an impact on our self-esteem. You can still be humble but with a backbone.
Remember you are good enough, talk about it without arrogance.
How Can I Deserve Respect
5. Positive thinking is Inspiring
With a positive attitude, you can conquer the world. No obstacle is too big to stop you.
To live an inspiring life is so rewarding. Talking about your passions and goals can inspire others to create goals too to replicate your success. This gives you a sense of purpose.
Encourage them to follow their dreams.
Show you have faith in them.
Always see the bright side. Every problem has a solution and there is a way out. No matter how big it is, there is a silver lining, and tackle it step by step.
All failures have a hidden lesson to help you grow and never repeat the mistake.
Write down your positive affirmations and repeat them every morning before you start, with gratitude.
I am grateful for what I have, I am happy and content.
My ability to change what I can.
I am worthy of health, wealth and happiness.
My life is only beginning.
6. Set achievable Goals
Know where you are going.
Never listen to naysayers, nor let other people’s negative opinions or criticism influence you.
Ask advice from people who have the knowledge and apply it.
How Can Deserve Respect
7. Good Listener
Talk less and listen with undivided attention.
Listen intensely to what people have to say and encourage them.
Ask them questions, rather than feel the need to tell your story.
Effective listening skills will validate others and make them feel important.
Don’t use your ear as a trash can, avoid conversations that are not to your standards or have no meaning.
Never gossip or discuss a third person that is not present.
8. Stop Apologising
Only apologise when your actions affect someone else negatively.
Don’t hesitate a moment, do it immediately.
Do not apologise for all that is happening.
Stop using the word “Sorry”, in general talk, it makes you a lesser person, do apologise when necessary.
How Can I Deserve Respect
10. Live with Integrity
Keep your promises.
Always be honest and always tell the truth.
Have compassion. See the situation from the other person’s side too.
Be always reliable, and trustworthy.
Loyalty is one of the legs of integrity. Never betray anyone.
Mood swings are never appreciated, be the same every day.
Never gossip, be confidential and keep a secret no matter what.
What do you believe in?
Set boundaries according to your values, and how far are you prepared to go.
Realise what is important to you and what makes you happy or mad.
Be not afraid to share what you stand for with the world. Do it in small amounts, never in an overpowering heated discussion.
People will remember how you make them feel when around you. Make sure to make them feel good, important and valuable.
11. Respect Time
Everybody is busy,so never waste other people’s time.
Being late is unforgivable without a valid reason. Manage your time wisely.
Let people know in advance when you can’t make it in time for an appointment.
Don’t make idle talk, have something of value to contribute to the conversation.
There are many more, but these are the most important skills to deserve someone’s respect.
Start making small changes, by practising them and when you have success and see results, it will inspire you to take the next step.
When mastering these skills you will deserve full respect in society and between friends and family.
Until next time, take care.