Men and Love.



My Dear Thinette



Let no stone be unturned my dear, learn whatever you can. Men and Love are just as complicated and hard to understand. What does the book say, Men are from Mars and Women from Venus, two different planets. This letter is about understanding the secrets of men and the language of his love.

The dynamics are unique and complex. It differs in men and women and then from person to person. We will discuss the way most men think, not all are the same though, but this is a start.


Men and Love.

The Way Men Behave And Why

The nature of men is about fun and excitement laughter and joy. Very seldom will you see men in a serious mood when together? It is all about laughter, jokes and sport.

Commitment only gets important to a man when it is the right time with the right person and he is ready to take responsibility.

A man will not commit if he is not emotionally or financially ready or if you are not ‘The One’  He will be oblivious when commitment is mentioned and just keep on having fun with you, or disappear.




He first has to contemplate, calculate and reason within himself. Make sure you meet his criteria before he makes that important decision. Until then, he will keep on searching for, The One, he wants to be with for the rest of his life. You have to respect that.

Men and the Language of Love. Animation of a Wedding couple standing apart.

Women should learn from this experience to do the same instead of wanting to marry every Dick Tom and Harry she has an affair with. Take your time too, explore and meet different men. Have fun and learn to distinguish between different personalities and what you want, to make a better choice too.


A recipe for disaster is when a man does not say or do what she wants. She starts whining, manipulating and being demanding. Nothing is more devastating to any relationship.  Stop thinking about what you feel and want.

Men and Love.

Time Out

There is nothing more claustrophobic in a relationship than when a partner wants control over the other.
You both need some time alone and activities apart. Both should have their activities and friends too. Both can spend time with friends or practise a sport once a week. Stay involved by supporting each other.


Allow him some alone time with his friends once a week and you do the same. Hang out with friends and have fun together somewhere, or visit your parents.

Men and the Language of Love. Girlfriends-having-fun.

Being apart and missing each other, will make you appreciate one other more and it has its value in the relationship.

Come home and share your outing with your partner, make him part of your afternoon experience.


Be Loyal and Trustworthy

Loyalty is one of the basic pillars of a relationship and goes hand in hand with trust.

He needs to know his private little habits and secrets are safe. Knowing you will never discuss it with anybody. He can be himself with you, only then he will be relaxed and open to that intimacy you are yearning for.

It is good practice not to discuss other people outside your relationship. That is classified as gossip and never has any purpose, it is always negative and a waste of time.

As a couple, there should be a bond, a unity to be on the same side as a team. Never discuss your partner or his behaviour with anybody especially not your friends. That stays private and builds trust.

Remember the secret your friend trusted you with?  It is not to share with anybody, not even your partner, stay loyal no matter what.


Men and Love

Special Time

Create a special time with your partner. Have a romantic date once a week to keep the spark in your relationship.  Whether it is a date or quiet time. Sit together arm in arm on the beach or in the garden, each with your thoughts and just stare. It will bring you closer together and enhance your intimacy

Men and the Language of Love. couple talking and sharing their experiences

in the partnership, it will strengthen your bond.

No matter what you decide on, it must be a special time alone, with no phones or other interference.


Why do Men Lie

The nature and mission of a man are to make you happy, there is nothing more satisfying to him.

When you start whining, demanding, being grumpy and moaning, a man will say and do anything to keep you happy and smiling. He will try and say what you want to hear.

It will not always be the truth or how he feels, but anything to just get you to stop. When trying his best and it doesn’t work. One blue Monday morning he will disappear, and you wonder why.

He will also lie to get out of a situation or a relationship.


Men and Love.

A Man On A Mission

Men are focused and always on a mission to achieve a goal, therefore, they are not emotional beings.


Men and the Language of Love. A laptop full of goals and reminders, means a man is always on a mission.

In the mind of men, his mission Is overpowering and most important, it always comes first. He would rather achieve his goal than commit to a woman, therefore learn to respect the importance of that. Not your fault, I have to repeat this:


Men and Love

Commitment and Moving On

Remember, when the time is ripe and you tick all his boxes of importance, he will most definitely see you as The One. You become his next mission.

He will do everything he can, change direction and focus on you to get your approval and win you as his ultimate prize. Once he has your commitment and he is ready to commit too, his mission is accomplished.


You are not his mission anymore. He will then move to his next goal expecting you to understand and be by his side to support him.


It is a done deal and the goal is achieved, therefore, you have to understand the change in his mindset. It is not he is not romantic and interested anymore, his mindset has changed to a new goal and needs you in his team.


His next goal can be to better himself to get a salary increase to be a better provider. Saving to buy you the house you want and start diverting his focus, inevitability, giving you less and less romantic attention.


Men and Love


Remember the saying: ‘Behind every successful man there is a woman!’

Be his pillar and understand where he comes from. Talk about it and ask how you can help to make it easier for him to achieve that new goal benefiting you both as a couple. Support him and be right there where he needs you.

One last little tip, my dear. A man loves to just sit and do nothing with an empty glare in his eyes. That is his, ME time. Give him that opportunity to just sit and stare without saying a word.


Take care Love

Granny Stella

Gran Estelle

Be a Fabulous Feisty and Fearless Woman


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