The Ideal Man and How to Keep Him


Dear Thinette


Thinette behind a laptop


Finding your ideal man and how to keep him is a challenge, my dear. It is not about-face value, it goes deeper. What virtues should my ideal man have … and how should I behave to keep him?

According to history, there were quite a few ideal men, Casanova, Don Juan, Romeo, Mark Anthony, Julius Caesar, Lord Byron, Errol Flynn or Gabriele D’Annunzio?

When looking closer, the men in history have been myths. The older Casanovas were less romantic.

One was a fantasy, but the other, were romantic players for selfish reasons, seducing and abusing women and then breaking their hearts.

 They could be called Toxic men, my dear.

Are there any modern-day men with charisma and style?  Their behaviour should show the respect they have for a woman. Who will it be Tom Cruise, Leonardo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington or Keanu Reeves?

The modern Casanovas still have to prove their worth as an ideal man, and whether he is a keeper.

What Do I Have To Look For

What are the personality and characteristics you should look for in an ideal man that will secure lifelong happiness?

He is a man who will respect and protect you, appreciate you, adore you and desire you for who you are. Treat you like a princess, makes you feel loved, secure and happy. He will thus be your ideal man and superhero forever.


I believe it is possible to find more than one soulmate during your lifetime. Not everybody is lucky to find even one. The best way is to move on like a butterfly until you find your perfect man, he is out there.


What Makes an Ideal Man Different


On the outside, it is easy to see the differences between a man and a woman, but the real difference is on the inside. Women are normally easy to read, men on the other hand are far more difficult.


They are taught to be strong and therefore hide their emotions. Men feel vulnerable when their emotions or feelings are exposed.

A man needs to trust you before he will show his true self. Behind this facade of bravado, a soft gentleman is waiting to be embraced.

Responsibilities have a huge impact and make a man who he is. He lives in a serious and very competitive world.


He is a logical thinker winning, solving problems and survival, always chasing a goal.

Make it a priority to understand your ideal man and do not judge him from your perspective.

The best way to get a man’s attention is to be happy, full of fun, laugh easily and be a ray of sunshine. Be never silly or too serious on a date or in a conversation.

Be light-hearted, flirty and a bundle of joy. Only be serious when the situation asks for it.


Inside a man on a mission, there is a romantic who wants to break free. Never judge your man, always ask yourself … Why does he behave the way he does? Find the reason behind his behaviour.



The Ideal Man

What will make me happy

Most of all, he must love you with all his heart. Leave no stone untouched if something upsetting happens or threatens your relationship. He must do all he can to restore the equilibrium.

1. Respect you and all other women. Observe his behaviour towards people, animals and things. Most importantly, he must respect your boundaries.

2. The ideal man will be honest and loyal in everything he does and the way he talks. He must never lie to you.

3. Sharing your past, future, feelings and happenings. Be vulnerable but feel safe at the same time in a peaceful warm relationship with him. He will feel the same and only open up if he can trust you fully. That creates intimacy.

4. Is he kind and caring towards you and tells you every day he loves and adores you. Is he kind to people and animals?

5. Can you trust him. Does he do what he says? Acts speak louder than words.

6. Being compassionate. Does he care? The way he talks about his parents, family and friends is important because that is the way he will care for and talk about you too.

7. Is he a generous person, or stingy. The law of the Universe teaches you, what you give comes back to you in many ways.

8. Does he forgive easily and say, I am sorry. It is not necessary to always be right.

9. Give you space to be yourself and develop your personality, not controlling and restricting.

10. To be your partner in all you do, and is always on your side. Are you a dream team together.

11. Is he a responsible man? Is he responsible when spending his money?

12.  Does he protect you, make you feel safe. Love you deeply and make you feel secure in public and at home.

13.  Are you doing things together, is he spending quality time with you.

14. Does he have the same values as you, and discuss it.

15. Is he confident, and has good skills.

16. Does he have ambition and a plan for the future. Does he discuss it with you?

17. Your ideal man should support you in your goals and help you grow as a person.


No man can be all. It is wise to prioritise your points of importance. See how many of the blocks you can tick off of your perfect man.


All of these are important, it is hard to compromise on any. If a man’s behaviour ticks all these boxes, he is a true gentleman and will make the best of his future and yours. If one is missing it can become a deal-breaker in the future.

To summarise, he must be a man of integrity and show old word gentleman behaviour.





There is a difference in the ways men and women communicate.


The ideal man will communicate and sometimes without emotion. He negotiates for power and does not mean to control you. They want to avoid failure and want to win the situation in the best possible way.


Women on the other hand communicate with emotion to get closer, seek understanding, approval and love, to find equality and balance.


Two different strategies, cause many misunderstandings ending in arguments. By watching body language you will learn a lot, and prevent it before it gets out of hand.


If you feel unhappy, walk up to him, put your arms around him and say you feel hurt and are not happy. Explain the problem and ask him, what would he suggest as the best way to solve the situation. Give him the power and he will do what makes you happy.


Be direct, no guessing game. Never hint to a man. Make a request, give him the power to be able to serve you. Making you feel special, is his way to make you happy, and when you are happy it makes him happy too. Men do not do small talk


He is communicating with you with his actions. See it and verbally appreciate it by telling him.


When in public, acknowledge his achievements and tell people how proud you are of him. It boosts his ego and makes him fond of you.


Always defend your man when someone says something negative.


Support and encourage him in all his actions, whether at home or work.


Listen to what he says with an open mind. Never judgemental or criticising.

Have a life of your own. Your own money, own friends, own hobbies. Be independent, never depend on your man to keep you busy and entertained, but share your life with him.


Know the love language of your man. If you observe closely you will recognise it.


The 5 Languages of Love.


1. Words. Is he often verbally telling you he loves, you look pretty, or sexy. Leave your little notes of love. He will ask: Do you love me or do you want to make love to me?


2. Quality Time. Does he spend time with you, do things with you, take you to special places. Come to you where you are busy in the kitchen or whatever, just to be with you.


3. Acts of Love. Do things for you that are part of your everyday routine as a surprise without asking him. Make you your favourite drink, start your car early in the morning and be ready for you to go to work, Run your bath with candles and a glass of wine at the end of the day.


4. Gifts. Does he bring you flowers, chocolates or jewellery out

 The Ideal Man and How to Keep Him. Man tying a golden chain around a woman's neck of the blue to surprise you? He wants to treat you to dinner at a restaurant or a weekend away.


5. Physical Touch. He will put his arms around you and just hold you. Walk down the street holding your hand or with his arm around your waist. Touching when talking to you or pinch your bum walking past you.


Find his way of loving and loving him the same way back, that way he will know you love him too.


A Man and His Phone


The Ideal Man and How to Keep Him. Man, phone Earphones


His cell phone is his treasure, and he is addicted to it. Use it to your advantage and send him flirty messages during the day.

He is a visual creature, dare to send him a naughty photo or picture, only if you trust him. Romantically a man wants to feel he is in charge and is winning this game. Make him feel you are the ‘prey’ he wants to go after. Keep the fire of romance burning.


Magic Text Number 1

This text is to get him Curious and catch his Attention. Makes him feel he has to pursue you.

Text only half the text, “I can’t stop thinking ………..”

This will get his attention, his imagination will get going and you have his attention. He will text back “….about what?

Leave it at that, or give him an elusive answer, saying he will find out tonight, you have a surprise.


Magic Text Number 2

Establish his feeling of Power. When you use the text above, take it to the next level and when he asks …. about what?”, you can say

“I feel so safe when you are around” or

“ It is so exciting how the butterflies flutter in my tummy when you take my hand” or

“How amazing it feels when you look me in the eyes”

All of these establish his Power and Strength. You will make him feel so good that he can do that to you.


Magic Text Number 3

This time you engage his most powerful sense … his imagination.

Engage his mind on a primal level, making him crave you wherever he is. Make him imagine how it will feel when he is with you.

“I am sitting here and all I can do is imagine how amazing it is going to be when I see you tonight …..”

“I will be ready for whatever you have in mind”

Set his mind on fire with ideas he can imagine.


In a Nutshell

It doesn’t have to be all at once, spreading it out over days, it can add to the excitement. You will find your magic way.


Step 1 Make him Curious to get his attention, but don’t give him too much information, keep him guessing. Talk about a surprise you have for him.


Step 2 Establish his sense of Power. Your strong Hero who will protect you and make you feel secure and happy. Tell him how safe he makes you feel.


Step 3 Use a text to trigger his Imagination. Have him think about a future event, have dinner and then go to your place. How exciting it is going to be to see you and be with you.


Give him that wonderful feeling when you are around, make him feel happy, carefree and relaxed, and he can’t wait to be with you.



These are ways to keep a man interested in you.

Tap into his unconscious mind and make sure he always feels good when around you. This is the golden rule, my dear! Know how a man thinks.

Be fun and full of laughter in his presence. It makes him happy and there is no better feeling.


Love you lots

Granny Stella

Granny Stella






2 Comments on “The Ideal Man and How to Keep Him”

  1. Very interesting, I’ve learned from my marriage that it’s all about communication and learning how to understand the other person even if you don’t agree.

    Once the initial honeymoon stage is over it takes a lot of work and so far it seems neverending.

    I also believe that no none is perfect and nothing will be easy, but all the effort has been worth it in the end.

    1. Hi Lee,

      You are right, commitment is not a destination but just the beginning of your lifelong journey together!
      Two strong circles form a chain and are even stronger.
      Knowing there will be friction, it is good to give it attention and as a unity, it will overcome all obstacles
      Keep polishing those links and you will have an unbreakable chain!

      Best wishes for happiness!

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