Tips for a Good Relationship

Dear Thinette,

In any good relationship, it is never about yourself, but always about making your partner happy. Be kind and find a kind person to share your life with.  It will at the same time secure your own happiness. Make him a first priority after yourself. There is a certain way to do it.

A Thought or Two

Values and sharing the same vision is a binding factor. Have your own values of importance in place, my dear and make a list of 5 behaviours you are not prepared to tolerate form a partner, no matter what.

Behaviour which is not in line with your values is not acceptable, for instance, excessive drinking, not being honest or find it hard to communicate or support you.

Culture of Couples

Relationships engaging in romantic ties have a life of its own without being influenced by the social set of norms by society. Couples have taken back the control society had over them.

Enjoyment in an intimate relationship is getting to know each other on all levels, and still maintaining personal control.

Types of Relationships 

Moving in together

Legal Advice, it is wise to keep records of everything, dates, prices and whom it belong to. Keep two sets save in a file for each.

• Moving in together became the norm, and is accepted as a marriage when it comes to legal terms.

• There are a decline in marriages altogether and society has become more accepting of this trend. Living together brings its own set of problems. Legally it can become a mess when you decide you are not meant for each other and want to go separate ways.

• My advice is, to keep a record from the beginning of what is yours and what is mine. When accumulating and buying new items, keep a record. This is to protect and keep this wonderful relationship from any misunderstandings. Keep it this way in perfect harmony.

• Stipulate who owns what and why? Make it easier by keeping all proof of purchases, make copies of the invoices and receipts because of the ink fading over time. Mention who the owner is, both sign it and each keeps a copy in your own personal file on the shelve! Not done with ill feelings but to secure the health of the relationship.

Another phenomenon has developed and that is called the Sleep Over or Stay-Over relationship.

Staying-Over Relationship

Couples with a Stay Over relationship are more content and the relationship stays exciting. The Staying Over arrangement does not have legal implications.

Committed couples and even married couples enjoy this way of living. Each partner has his or her own place, and they alter to stay over at each other’s. May be it is convenient to stay together at his place during the week, and go weekends to your place together.

In this case your belongings are yours in your place and his stays his in his place. Only sharing the space and no claims can be made.

This is the best relationship to have when not ready for a full commitment yet. See it as a trial period.

 Tips for a Good Relationship

• Make a list of five behaviours you are not prepared to accept from any partner. Being an alcoholic, too loud, bad manners, lazy, have no interests, do not communicate, swears like a sailor, do not respect women in general, etc.

• Make a list of five important character and behaviour trends you want your man to have. He must be kind, have a vision, hardworking, dedicated, honest, self-confident, active, laugh often, etc.

• A good starting point in a relationship is to compare the behaviour of your new friend to those of your ideal partner. When you are feeling attracted to someone, immediately correlate with your list. Hold on to this interesting man if he scores marks on your list, or move on if he is not compatible. It will save many heartaches. Move on before you fall in love with the wrong man/woman, it will never be a happy relationship.

• Is he/she Supportive of you and your interests? Can you grow as a person? Does he enhance you as a person or is he taking you down?

• Take it Slow. At the beginning of a relationship, everybody will go to all ends to be the perfect and ideal partner to impress. The more time spent together the more relaxed you become and eventually start having normal behaviour. Giving the relationship time, will bring forward natural behaviour, best of all, see if you are really compatible.

• Never be Obsessed. To be a couple means to be exclusive in a way. Though together, you are still two individuals with separate lives and interests. Be together, but never be so intertwined and involved in each other’s lives that you are suffocating each. Have some breathing space. Respect and trust for this space are Key to a lasting relationship.

• Be never Jealous. Have trust in each other.  Your friend might have a crush on someone else. Let him enjoy it, you might have a crush on someone too. It is just a chemical attraction caused by the eye, not the emotional attraction you have for each other, it is perfectly normal.

• He will appreciate and love you more by participating in one of his past times. Discuss it, even use it to enhance your intimate life. Enjoy it together it’s only a fabricated flash of the imagination and not of the Heart.

• Keep the Desire. Never stop romancing, desire and wooing each other. No matter how old you are. When being together for a long time, that is when you should amplify it the most. To be loving and thoughtful plays a huge role in maintaining a good relationship.

• Compliment each other. Be sincere and honest.A  man normally compliments a woman,  but did know men crave compliments to?  Tell him how good his body is, or you can disappear in his beautiful blue eyes

• Going to bed. Having intercourse is a major part of any relationship and is very intimate. Before getting sexually involved, it should be discussed in advance, before the moment, and agree upon. Make a responsible decision beforehand.

• Making sure both are ready for the possibility of getting pregnant, contracting transmitted diseases. The degree of trust involved is very important. Being on the same level and agree to a mutual decision makes it more pleasurable. Listen to each other and indulge later.

• Compromise. Being able to compromise on a decision means you are able to give Respect, Patience and Space and is a binding factor in any relationship. See the situation from both side compromise, grow individually and agree on being ‘Half Happy’, it is better than ‘Not Happy’.

• Let Petty things be. Make no big deal of small happenings in a relationship. Anybody can make a mistake, be late, forget a special date and have a sudden change of plans. It is human and doesn’t have to be a big deal. It might be frustrating but not life-threatening. There is no need to rant and rave, talk calmly and humorously about it and come to a compromise.

• Be Patient. When your partner is busy or away, be patient, all is not about you all the time. Understand and support him or her in the situation, be there to assist rather than blame.

• Thoughtfulness. In the simplest ways, you can make a huge difference. A thoughtful remark can be done in a loving calm way, never be harsh or judgmental.Writing a love note put it in a pocket of his shirt, trousers, or a book, a surprising email with a loving quote will wake him up at work. Sneak a chocolate bar into a pocket to be found later. A thoughtful surprise has tremendous effects.

• Do the Right thing. Know what is the right thing to do and then do it. Have an inner voice that guides you. Always choose a calm and loving way to say or do things.

 Conclusion

The biggest threat to a good relationship is a selfish person, self-centred and egoistic. Everything is centred around the comfort of one person. Be a unit and a team.

My dear Thinette, find proven ways and practise it to have a good love relationship with a happy ending.

Put your partner’s well-being on top of your agenda and as a result, you will reap the benefits multiple times. Do something special for him every day, and you will become the cherished one.

Best wishes for a good and happy relationship!

Love you

Gran Stella

Inspire Motivate And Empower The Next Generation