To Agree to Disagree the Meaning

Dear Thinette,

Thinette

 

To agree to disagree on the meaning is a win-win strategy. It saves your dignity and creates harmony.

There was a video clip, of family members fighting in the street, on the Internet. Shouting, pulling hair and pointing fingers. As they say, washing their dirty laundry in public.

The whole neighbourhood came out to see what was going on, undoubtedly, as a matter of fact, it was humiliating to watch.

Someone took the video and posted it on the Internet, showing this moment, of control rage to the world. This is not the way to solve a problem, but, it is only fuel to the fire.

To argue and shout at your partner is not the solution my dear, rather discuss a problem with a calm attitude. How to do it with style and dignity is a challenge when in anger.

Never jump to conclusions or lose your temper, my dear. Calm down and take a moment to find clarity.

Let’s have a look, what is the difference between an Argument and a Discussion?

Always respond in a calm way, in other words, never react in aggression, blame or defend towards the situation.

To Agree to Disagree the Meaning

What is an Argument

According to the dictionary, arguing is to persuade someone of your beliefs. You want him or her to see it your way, but soon that will lead to blaming and name-calling. to clarify, this is when you react in aggression to a situation.

How to Argue or Disagree with Dignity. Couple sitting in deep discussion in the park.What is a Discussion?

A discussion is a continuous way to weigh the pros and cons of an issue. Debate it in a friendly way, without raising your voice, until there are a compromise and a conclusion. This is when you respond to a situation.

Take a moment

  • Stick to the original topic until a mutual decision is reached.

  • Every difference of opinion has a value, and it can be in the eye of the beholder. In the end, there is only one truth, therefore, distance yourself and see the situation as an objective

  • Little differences can be good for a relationship, in other words, it helps to understand the way your partner thinks

  • It is wise to listen to a statement and decide if it is true and makes any sense. Sometimes it is an emotional problem or it could be a good idea.

  • If it is not the truth, and a twisted version of reality, it does need attention. Find a quiet place and discuss it.

  • Before getting too upset ask yourself “ How does this affect me? Why am I unhappy and why would I want to argue?” Is it my ego talking, or is it to enhance the relationship?

  • You know the not good hormone adrenaline will rush through your body and make you unhappy, ugly and sick in the process. Therefore it is not worth it. see differences as a way to learn to know your partner better

The Anatomy of a Discussion.

This explanation of the anatomy of an argument will clarify the situation and make it easier to find a resolution and not go in never-ending blaming circles.

 

There are different components to an argument or discussion. Be fair and acknowledge you are a team. You are against this problem, and not you and the problem against your partner. Solve it as a team.

 

To Agree to Disagree the Meaning

The Four Components of a Disagreement

This explanation will make it easier to find a resolution and not go into never-ending blaming circles.

 

These are components of differences

  • Reason for the difference of opinion

  • Exchanging ideas, to find a solution between partners

  • Conclusion or Outcome, for example, find a compromise and agree.

  • Restoring of Peace

One partner accuses and the counterclaim comes from the other partner, as a result, it is the opposing claim.

 

Both partners should get time to give the reasons for their claim and should therefore in both cases be supported with solid evidence.

 

Each should get enough time to have their say without Couple-in-discussioninterference.

The two main parts are the evidence and the conclusion.

 

 

To Agree to Disagree the Meaning

Your Behaviour During a Discussion

  • First of all, look each other in the eye and hug before you start. State clearly “Remember I love you”, it is not about you, but about the situation.

  • Make sure the other will know you still love him or her no matter what. This is not about you but your behaviour.

  • Find and discuss definite family rules before such an event occurs, my dear. During troubleshooting, put a structure in place on how you will handle these serious discussions.

  • In advance have rules and a structure on how to solve a problem, and stick to it. Have a ‘safe word’ to opt out for a moment or two.

  • Never avoid differences of opinion, my dear, discuss them. Stability and unity are the unquestionable foundation of a relationship.

  • If not handled successfully, it builds stress and can have a bad influence not only on the relationship but on your health too.

  • Don’t go into a discussion upset or angry. Schedule a time, be calm and know what you want to achieve. Harmony and peace are your priority. See the bigger picture.

  • Make it very clear, that both parties should know exactly what it is about, with no misunderstandings.

  • Support your statement with good reason and evidence.

  • Know exactly why you have this disagreement. Both should observe it from a neutral point of view.

  • Make yourself clear, and give your partner time to make him or herself clear additionally, listen carefully.

  • If guilty take responsibility for your part. Apologise and do not blame your partner.

  • Never overreact, shout, blame or insult your partner, no name-calling. Blame the situation or behaviour, never the person.

Image of couple arguing, finger pointing and name calling.

  • Don’t let grievances simmer. Get it out in the open as soon as possible.

 

  • Be fair in your accusations. Was this situation created deliberately or did it happens unintentionally?

 

  • Accept the fact that you also have guilt in the situation, acknowledge and talk about it, and apologise if necessary.

  • Find a compromise both are happy with.

  • Do not be judgemental.

  • Listen to every word, it is important.

  • Never argue in public, rather say “I disagree with you but we can discuss it later.”

  • Agree to disagree instead of keep on arguing. Accept it and move on.

  • For example, don’t ask your partner to do something you are not prepared to do.

  • Find the culprit of this argument, and most importantly, get to the core.

 

Talk about the situation afterwards, discuss the possibility that it might occur again and find a way to prevent it.

 

To Agree to Disagree the Meaning

How to Apologise with Dignity

  • Make sure you both have said it all, particularly, get everything off your chest, before apologising.

 

  • Apology statements should always start with “ I “

  • I am sorry …

  • I will make sure …

  • I promise …

 

  • When apologising never use the words BUT, HOPE, MAYBE, MIGHT, IF. That is still blaming and negative, it cancels the apology, on the contrary, you are back to square one.

 

  • Know what you are going to say in your apology be prepared.

 

  • Never hold any grudges, say all you have to say and don’t go back later. It is done and water is under the bridge.

 

  • Don’t ever say “ I told you so “

 

Be fair and know, most certainly, you are a team against this problem. Never you and the problem against your partner. Solve every problem as a team.

 

A conclusion should be reached, therefore be prepared to make compromises in the name of Love.

 

Agree to Disagree and not Argue Gift-in-a-black-and-white-striped-boxy-gift-

If you were the guilty party in any way, it is good to offer a gift of apologies. Maybe her favourite flowers or a ticket to her favourite show or event, above all, a kiss and makeup.

 

To Agree to Disagree the Meaning

Ways to end a Disagreement

  • Take hands and look each other in the eyes, furthermore apologise with sincerity and hug and kiss.

Agree to Disagree and not Argue. Couple holding hands and looking in each others eyes.

 

 

 

 

  • Agree to disagree instead of keep on arguing in this situation, find a compromise.

 

  • Take a break and make some tea if, for instance, you get too emotional.

 

  • As an example, write a letter or an email, for example, explaining how it makes you feel.

 

  • Go for a walk together hand in hand, and above all, talk about the problem.

 

Agree to Disagree and not Argue. Couple walking hand in hand on a beach sorting out a problem

Agree to Disagree and not Argue

Troubleshooting

Have regular sessions of troubleshooting different problems that may occur, therefore preventing is much better than solving a problem. For this purpose have an in-depth talk about different topics. The spending of money, jealousy or moreover, differences in everyday situations.

The ‘What-If Session’

Have weekly discussions on money matters, plan the purchases for the next week, and end it with a topic from your list of ways to prevent conflict.

 

Call it ‘The What-If’ and ‘ How are we going to solve this if it occurs. It could be a way to prevent disagreements, and as a result, it could be fun to play out the options.

 

Make a list of imaginary topics together. Keep it light and make it fun, do not make it an act of vengeance. Play out the topic and subsequently, agree on how you are going to handle such a situation if it occurs in future.

 

Any scenario can be a possibility, with a ‘What If’ as a suggestion. It is just make-believe. In this playful way, it is fun to find solutions in a game of events that might happen in future.

 

Have a safe word to opt-out if you feel hurt and cannot find a mutual compromise to the problem. It is not worthwhile keeping on if you are truly at a dead end. Take time off, it is a healer and brings a new vision. Agree to continue later within this topic, most importantly, to find a solution for the future.

 

Agree to Disagree and not Argue Couple in bed,with a happy smile on their faces, problem solved.

To Agree to Disagree the Meaning

How to Restore a Relationship

  • Precaution. Find a solution so it can unquestionably not happen again.

 

  • Consummate the apology. Great sex and intimate talk afterwards are undoubtedly the most powerful way to heal a rift.

 

Conclusion

There are two ways to handle differences in a relationship. You can pick a fight and state clearly who is wrong or right, on the other hand, there is a mature way of settling differences.

 

When you react to a problem it is negatively and always ends in an argument. On the other hand, if you respond by saying: Why would you say that, or why did this happen? This is a positive way of handling a situation.

 

The least harm done to a relationship is to respond by discussing and debating all differences calmly.  In the name of love compromise and agree to find a solution, most importantly, you will restore harmony, my dear.

 

This will take the sting out of any argument and most of all, you will keep your dignity. Rather agree to disagree.

 

Make it a family culture and most of all you will have a harmonious happy home.

 

Love you

Gran Estelle

Stella

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