What Skills To Teach Children

  

 

Good morning my dear Minette

Minette by the pool

Today I want to ask this question, do you care enough about the well being of your children? Do they have the skills to become well-balanced adults?  There is no training or teaching on how to raise respectful children. Where do I begin to understand what is expected of a parent?

 

 

The first thing to realise is, happiness comes from within, you can’t buy happiness or demand it.

It is a bubbling feeling rising from within. The most valuable thing is to teach them to recognise it to be happy. It can be the small things that create confidence and make a difference.

 

Skills that will secure happiness in their relationships, skills to contribute to their success and social skills to find a place in society. How do I raise a child to be respectful and a respected citizen?

 

We are going to discuss options on how to achieve this momentous task.

 

What Skills To Teach My Children

  1. Skills to make me Happy

  2. My skills for Successful

  3. Social skills to be accepted

 

My Happiness Skills Account

Did you know, all your relationships have a bank account? Yes, it is called your Emotional Bank Account. Whether it is a love relationship, a family or a social relationship, all needs a deposit. The concept is to deposit first before you can withdraw.

 

 

How do I teach my child to make these deposits for his happiness? Respect for himself and respect for others and respect for things lies at the core of it. From a very young age teach them with images to understand the concept.

 

What Skills To Teach Children. Mom and son blowing bubbles

 

Learning with a Picture

On paper draw a heart and colour the left side red making it look full, and leave the other side white to look empty. Telling them there is a way to make the whole heart full, by putting more in than taking out.

 

What skills to teach my children. Full and empty heart

Also, use the example of a basin, when the tap pours water into the basin it gets full but when you pull the plug it runs empty.

 

 

To illustrate the meaning, draw three lines to the left-hand side of the heart with arrows, pointing to the red side, depositing into the heart and making it full. Add pictures that show love and affection.

 

 

Paste for instance images of a parent hugging or reading a story or playing with a child, any interaction that makes them happy. This is the way to make the heart full.

 

What Skills To Teach Children. Dad-hugging-daughter

 

On the right-hand side, you draw lines with arrows pointing away from the heart, explaining this is draining the heart, making it empty.

 

Paste pictures of a child with a crying grumpy face, two kids fighting over a toy and a parent reprimanding a child for being disobedient. Add your negative images to illustrate.

 

This will help them understand the emotions, I have to contribute to and not only withdraw. Teach them how they can deposit into this Emotional Bank Account.

 

Being happy, obedient, helpful with little tasks, being part of your team, laughing a lot and being fun, showing love and affection with hugs and kisses, acting in a way to make others happy.

 

What skills to teach my children. Having fun. Happy children and parent playing 

 

As they grow older keep reminding them to rather step back and think twice before they act or react. A spoken word or deed can never be taken back.

 

 

Making them understand the concept of deposits.  Before they can draw from this emotional account it is important to make contributions.

 

Teach them to be kind, make this awareness a lifestyle.

  

What Skills To Teach My Children

Skills for My Success Account

Teach them

  • Success means different things to different people. To accomplish a dream is a success. There are certain rules to follow before you get to be successful.

 

  • The best thing is to teach them there is no such thing as luck! Only hard work makes it happen. From the outside, it might look like luck, but only you know the secret.

 

 

  • Playing the lotto mentality leads to procrastination and anticipation and will get you nowhere.

 

 

  • The skills that form the pillars of success are Dedication, Determination, Discipline, and Persistence. Build these skills with tasks around the house. Something that will challenge them and to do regularly as a responsibility.

 

 

  • Praising for a job well done and a small reward is showing them gratitude and motivates them to do it the best they can. It teaches them responsibility and all the pillars of success.

 

 

  • Teach them what is work-ethics. It is a set of values based on how well a task is done, such as keeping your focus on the task, staying motivated and finishing a task as soon as possible. 

  • The quality of the job done is important. This helps to create a good work ethic that will impress. It also installs self-pride. When you start a project, do it to the best of your ability and don’t stop until it is done.

 

 

  • Get them excited with games to make them love mathematics. At a young age teach them the times’ tables off by heart, it might seem old fashion but there is a method in this madness. Make it a game while busy with other things or driving. Asking the equation in different ways, make it relevant to the surroundings and let them challenge you too.

 

 

  • Lead them to be curious in many ways and let them get creative. Ask them what they like, how they like it and why? Challenge them to push their boundaries and to come up with solutions to problems. Stimulate their thoughts with What do you think of it, and Why?

 

What skills to teach your children. Boy reading a book

 

  • Read, Read, Read. Let them know, knowledge is power if you apply what you have learned. It is the best gift you can give your child.

 

 

  • Find interesting books and let them explore. Reading every day, even just for 15 minutes to learn something new, sets you apart. Mum, you should practice that too.

 

 

  • Have conversations on different subjects and ask them their opinions. Ask why, how and what, and let them explain to you their point of view.

 

 

  • If they want something or do something out of the ordinary, always ask them why they want it. Discuss it and let them justify to you their reasons why. If they can convince you, they can have it. It teaches them to debate and justify their point and not just demand. This way they will earn respect.

 

 

  • Teaching them to fail is not a bad thing. It shows you there is a better way of doing it. Get up and try again, this is the road to success. It helps to find the best way to do a task.  Experiencing this will help them grow and pursue their goals diligently.

 

 

When your kids deposit these skills into their Success Account, completing tasks successfully with effort, persistence and courage, it has to manifest as success.

 

What Skills To Teach My Children

My Social skills Account

We are all social beings and want to find a place in society. Guiding your children to fit into society is establishing their self-worth.

 

 

The most important social skill is to develop values, My Dear Lady.

 

I want to start by asking this question, do I care enough about the well being of my children? What skills do they have to become well-balanced adults?  There is no training or teaching on how to raise respectful children. Where do I begin understanding what is expected of a parent?

 

 

 

The first thing to realise is, happiness comes from within, you can’t buy happiness or demand it.

It is a bubbling feeling rising from within. The most valuable thing is to teach them to recognise it to be happy. It can be the small things that create confidence and make a difference.

 

Skills that will secure happiness in their relationships, skills to contribute to their success and social skills to find a place in society. How do I raise a child to be respectful and a respected citizen?

 

We are going to discuss options on how to achieve this momentous task.

 

What Skills To Teach My Children

Skills to make me Happy

My skills for Successful

Social skills to be accepted

 

My Happiness Skills Account

Did you know, all your relationships have a bank account? Yes, it is called your Emotional Bank Account. Whether it is a love relationship, a family or a social relationship, all needs a deposit. The concept is to deposit first before you can withdraw.

 

 

How do I teach my child to make these deposits for his happiness? Respect for himself and respect for others and respect for things lies at the core of it. From a very young age teach them with images to understand the concept.

 

 

Learning with a Picture

On paper draw a heart and colour the left side red making it look full, and leave the other side white to look empty. Telling them there is a way to make the whole heart full, by putting more in than taking out. Also, use the example of a basin, when the tap pours water into the basin it gets full but when you pull the plug it runs empty.

 

 

To illustrate the meaning, draw three lines to the left-hand side of the heart with arrows, pointing to the red side, depositing into the heart and making it full. Add pictures that show love and affection.

 

 

Paste for instance images of a parent hugging or reading a story or playing with a child, any interaction that makes them happy. This is the way to make the heart full.

 

 

On the right-hand side, you draw lines with arrows pointing away from the heart, explaining this is draining the heart, making it empty.

 

Paste pictures of a child with a crying grumpy face, two kids fighting over a toy and a parent reprimanding a child for being disobedient. Add your negative images to illustrate.

 

This will help them understand the emotions, I have to contribute to and not only withdraw. Teach them how they can deposit into this Emotional Bank Account.

 

Being happy, obedient, helpful with little tasks, being part of your team, laughing a lot and being fun, showing love and affection with hugs and kisses, acting in a way to make others happy.

 

As they grow older keep reminding them to rather step back and think twice before they act or react. A spoken word or deed can never be taken back.

 

 

Making them understand the concept of deposits.  Before they can draw from this emotional account it is important to make contributions.

 

Teach them to be kind, make this awareness a lifestyle.

  

What Skills To Teach My Children

Skills for My Success Account

Teach them

Success means different things to different people. To accomplish a dream is a success. There are certain rules to follow before you get that success.

 

The best thing is to teach them there is no such thing as luck! Only hard work makes it happen. From the outside, it might look like luck, but only you know the secret. 

 

Playing the lotto mentality leads to procrastination and anticipation and will get you nowhere.

 

 

The skills that form the pillars of success are Dedication, Determination, Discipline, and Persistence. Build these skills with tasks around the house. Something that will challenge them and to do regularly as a responsibility.

 

 

Praising for a job well done and a small reward is showing them gratitude and motivates them to do it the best they can. It teaches them responsibility and all the pillars of success.

 

 

Teach them what is work-ethics. It is a set of values based on how well a task is done, such as keeping your focus on the task, staying motivated and finishing a task as soon as possible. The quality of the job done is important. This helps to create a good work ethic that will impress. It installs self-pride. When you start a project, do it the best you can and don’t stop until it is done.

 

 

Get them excited with little games to make them love mathematics. At a young age teach them the times’ tables off by heart, it might seem old fashion but there is a method in this madness. Make it a game while busy with other things or driving. Asking the equation in different ways, make it relevant to the surroundings and let them challenge you too.

 

 

Lead them to be curious in many ways and let them get creative. Ask them what they like, how they like it and why? Challenge them to push their boundaries and to come up with solutions to problems. Stimulate their thoughts with What do you think of it, and Why?

 

 

 

Read, Read, Read. Let them know, knowledge is power if you apply what you have learned. It is the best gift you can give your child.

 

 

Find interesting books and let them explore. Reading every day, even just for 15 minutes to learn something new, sets you apart. Mum, you should practice that.

 

 

Have conversations on different subjects and ask them their opinions. Ask why, how and what, and let them explain to you their point of view.

 

 

If they want something or do something out of the ordinary, always ask them why they want it. Discuss it and let them justify to you their reasons why. If they can convince you, they can have it. It teaches them to debate and justify their point and not just demand. This way they will earn respect.

 

 

Teaching them, failing is not a bad thing. Never give up. Get up and try again, this is the road to success. It helps to find the best way to do a task.  Experiencing this will help them grow and pursue their goals diligently.

 

 

When your kids deposit these skills into their Success Account, completing tasks successfully with effort, persistence and courage, it has to surface as a success.

 

What Skills To Teach My Children

 

My Social skills Account

We are all social beings and want to find a place of recognition in the society. Guiding your children is to establish their self-worth.

 

 

The most important social skill is to believe in yourself. Develop strong values, set boundaries and live by them. This is the anchor in your life, it becomes your lifeguard when you need to survive obstacles.

 

Being able to cooperate and collaborate with others as a team for the benefit of the group.

 

 

Cultural norms set the rules of values. Every situation has a set of accepted behaviour, dictated by your society. Develop your own set of values according to your character and stick to it. Don’t become a foolish ‘sheeple’.

 

 

As a home team, you and your partner should have established these values before the kids were born. You should know what the family rules will be, and then lead by example.

 

 

Good manners are first on the list. Kids have to learn to be polite and friendly. Set non-negotiable rules.

 

Never be a goody-two-shoes having no backbone, agreeing with everything and everybody. Learn to have your own opinion and know the reason why.

 

 

Be an individualist with their viewpoint. Always be diplomatic in your actions, never dominating or overpowering.

 

 

When they get older, teach your child to be a good listener, you have two ears and only one mouth therefore listen more and talk less. Listen intensely and be the last to speak.

 

 

Make your child aware to watch people’s behaviour closely, See how they act or react, their body language, facial expression and posture to name a few. This can tell you a lot about a certain situation without a word spoken. It is fun to practice this at home.

 

 

Teach them confidentiality. They have to learn that certain issues are private and never to be told outside the house. Being able to keep a secret is a great virtue. They have to learn to ‘listen’ but not to ‘hear’ a thing. As adults, they will need that.

 

 

Teach your kids to live with integrity. It is a lifestyle. Teach them the meaning of each of the following, honest, truthful, respectful, loyal, reliable and responsible, accountable and to be compassionate. Live a life that is an example to your kids, because they live by example.

 

 

Choose friends with care, they are an extension of who you are. The best way is to choose friends with the same interests and values, discuss it with the kids and why. Set an example at home when choosing family friends.

 

 

When having a conversation, always look the person in the eye, it shows confidence and honesty, you have nothing to hide. Always address a person with his name or title while talking.

 

 

Address the use of alcohol. Discuss the effects and danger of the abuse of alcohol, and how easy it can get out of hand. The social and financial impact it has on a family.

 

 

Talk about sex and behaviour in love relationships. Set healthy norms with respect at the centre and discuss why it is important. Discuss playful fun and real intimacy. Let the children hear it from you and not from friends or the media.

 

 

What Skills To Teach My Children

Conclusion

Your kids will be thankful to you forever for introducing them to it all. Helping them and teaching them to master these skills to become happy, successful, respected citizens and a cornerstone in society.

 

If you don’t do it, they might blame you for negligence. They are borrowed to you only for 18 years, make the most of it, thereafter they are their person.

 

Until next time, take care.

Estelle.

Mom

Empower to Walk Tall with Pride and Confidence

 

9 Comments on “What Skills To Teach Children”

  1. Thanks for sharing these ideas.

    I like the idea of challenging our kids to come up with solutions to problems. Of course, they will be more motivated if the outcomes are beneficial to them.
    Reading and learning are so important for our development, and if we can instill the desire to learn and continue to learn into our children from a young age, then they will never lose it.

    Asking them why they want something and having them explain it is a good way to stop them from demanding so many things which they are not really passionate about.
    All of these ideas stem from the fact that we need to be spending quality time with our children and taking an active role in their physical, mental, and emotional development.
    Unfortunately, too many families substitute screen time (TV, phones, computers) for real parenting. And in doing so, they lose control over what their children are learning.

    1. Our children are the future, and we, the parents, have to make sure their lives will enhance and give them a quality lifestyle. Gone are the days of manipulation, indoctrination and brainwashing.
      In the new millennium, if you can’t think for yourself and make your own decisions you will be lost.
      Spend time and stimulate and lead them to have their own opinions and thoughts, it is of the utmost importance.
      Thank you for sharing your opinion!

  2. Really love the way this article is written as it focuses attention on three areas of importance – Happiness, Success and Social skills. Children need to be properly nurtured in these areas, and intentionally so. They are like a sponge that absorbs whatever we feed them – garbage in, and garbage out! Likewise if you shower them with love and stimulate them so they grow in their uniqueness, they grow into loving caring individuals.

    The concept of deposits into an emotional account which you tied in to an analogy of the heart to a tap pouring water into a basin is a great illustration. Thanks also for the emphasis that knowledge is power!

    1. Hi Ceci, Children are so dependent on their parents, and look at them for guidance. Many parents are oblivious and way to busy with their own stuff.
      You make an excellent point by referring to what goes into the mind and how it get processed by children.
      Thank you for a very motivational comment, I appreciate it!

  3. Hey Estelle,
    I really loved your article. I have been wondering what skills and when to teach our child. There are a lot of book and resources out there but I really liked your overall list (kind of like a framework) that is pretty long but that this good. Its comprehensive. I am going to come back to this, as this is a lot to take in. I will start with the heart exercise and explain it to our child.
    Wonderful ideas here, thanks so much for sharing your wisdom!
    Blessings to you, John

    1. Hi John
      I do apologise for the long letter but don’t want to make two separate letters. People might read only one and miss the other. Our young kids are so precious and vulnerable they need all the help they can get in this crooked world of ours.
      Thank you for your inspiring comment and kind words. Very glad you could find some value. Please do come back and read the letter on shopping too.
      Gratefully
      Estelle

  4. “Kids are only borrowed to us for 18 years” is something many parents forget, I think. Everything you pointed out are valid points and more parents should read it. Love is a bank account and you need to make regular deposits. You can’t just withdraw if the account is empty. The illustration with the half red heart is a good way to teach children that.

    1. Thank you Christine for a very motivating comment! Children are so vulnerable and depending on parents for everything. How can one be oblivious of that?
      What you give and teach them you will receive in return … good or bad.
      By spoiling a child in giving them everything is the worst thing.
      Take care!

    2. It is so true Christine, whether we like it or not. You can not treat them as a possession, or sometimes makes them you little slave. We just have to remember, they are individuals and has a life of their own, we are there to guide them.
      When you teach them love and compassion they will never have an empty heart or bank account.
      Thank you for your comment with insight.
      Estelle

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